My fellow Americans,

I have managed to join Al Qaeda by disguising myself as an insane old geezer in syria!
From their hideout in starbucks, urr.. i mean, deep, secret underground bunkers, I have uncovered their insidious plot to kill Americans by infecting us with erectile dysfunction and prostate cancer!

We need to take action immediately! Ladies forget about mastectomy! Remove your prostate instead! guys, there is only one sure way of preventing erectile dysfuction: Castration !

If you cannot accept these solutions, you are a terrorist ! Go colonoscopy yourself!